it happened; oddly i wasnt expecting it and now i dont think i know  what the next move is... the smile and uncontrollable laughter broke into a following set of tears ... why? i HATE myself... and i dont blame those who feel the same way.

and my f-ing guitar is chipped! i think im going outside right now to smash in the street... yup. its done

hmm xanga... i dont know about this... i've replaced old love with refreshed love for Ben Harper and the innocent criminals/ new found love for modest mouse I used to think they just sucked… I’ve learned that I really didn’t know good music.. but I think I have a good excuse for that; deprived of influences and my whole life has been attempted to be censored + im just a loser now so that’s  all I have; my cd’s are my friends now :-/ yeah whatever
*sigh* so tired... finally grad. stuff is over and now im being tossed into the real world  everyone asking u what ur going to do in life.. i think im a little far behind to figure that out so i feel like an idiot answering that ?.... the most productive day i had was when  i opened my savings account ; ate hella mexican food and bought copies of my birth certificate; took my drivers test and failed it... but dont tell nEone cuz it was stupid of me to not study ... and all in reverse order; oh and i got 3 cd's from target um, michael jackson's number ones, jack johnson latest in between dreams which is a cd i really need... i love the package design; it gave me a "whoa cool" good type of feeling and muse- absolution of which ive enjoyed the most just cuz it out lines my emotions of situations as well as jack johnson.. i like him a lot
im free... kind of
drea